I am so excited that I am finally here, writing and sharing my experience. It has been a hectic week. I started the spring semester for school this week (16 credit hours), my father in law is a diabetic and has had a terrible time with his bowels, my mother in law was worrying herself to death because he was having a terrible time with his bowels. They canceled school today because of the -25 degree windchill, so for me that meant both kids were at home all day. Yay me!!!
I had planned on getting things organized for my classes and I really wanted to get a head of the course load so that I can manage everything. I love organization! Being organized just helps my over all well being. My husband doesn't understand that, but it really makes me feel uncluttered. I am also excited because I started my CNA classes this week. It was quit the experience walking into a high school class room after almost 20 years!!
First, I had no idea where the school even was and I didn't know that all of the schools for this particular town was at the same location. Google maps led the way. I entered the elementary school and a young girl was sitting on the floor when I opened the door, she looked up at me with a big grin and asked me if I was there for the CNA class. I told her I was and I followed her lead into the high school. I walked into a full class room that looked like it could of still been in session. Out of 20 girls in the class, 17 are juniors and seniors in high school. I slithered into the back row and sucked it in so that I could sit in the "student" desk. I was out of sorts, then I realized that I was not the only older adult, there was another lady sitting right next to me! I even thanked her for being there after the introductions. We both chuckled and everything was fine.
I felt guilty for leaving the house that evening because my mother in law told me she wished I didn't have class that night. All my other classes are online and the CNA class is a hybrid. I made sure my father in laws shots were administered and both of their pills were distributed before I left. I reassured her that they would be fine. My husband was due home in less than an hour but I always worry when I have to leave the kids home with them for that short amount of time. It is hard because she has Alzheimer's and she gets flustered very easy. Good thing I had the kids settled in and things went smooth.
I am glad tomorrow is Friday. I am looking forward to the weekend. It is so much easier when my husband is home to help with everything. It is hard for me not to feel bad because I know he needs a day off, too. I know that going to work six days a week is not a vacation from home, but sometimes I am jealous because he doesn't have to endure what I have to 24/7. This is a very demanding situation and it is exhausting. Tomorrow is a new day and I will just try again.
As I leave for the night I will also leave my wisdom for the day:
My wisdom for today is that no matter how much you have planned in your mind, you may not get it all done, but it is not the end of the world.
I am getting better at expecting a little less of myself instead of beating myself up when I just simply can not get it all done.
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